Living in fear of what your WS/WAS might want/think/do/say is a terrible existence.
A great 180 is to make all of your decisions based on WHAT THE RIGHT THING TO DO IS. To do this effectively, you have to take a real hard look at your core values as well as other belief systems that effect your behavior.
One thing that woman are attracted to is a man that faces his fear. Jordan Peterson has some great talks about this topic. Two that stick out are about "slaying the dragon" and "peter pan".
Embracing a whole new way of interacting with your wife, and women in general should be high on your list of personal growth. Wanting vs needing to be with your wife requires completely different ways of behaving.
PS: When you get a chance, update your tagline.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
