T,

Go to the hospital. Support your son, and yes even W. And say your goodbyes as well.

Originally Posted by Terapin
…if our sitch was different I'd be rushing over there.

Make your situation different regarding this. Her grandma isn’t part of W and your problems.

Originally Posted by Terapin
What should be my role today, as well as moving forward (funeral, etc)?

Supportive. Take charge if needed or asked upon.

You and W are still married. She might lean upon you, she might not. Go with zero expectations and do what’s needed. There are some things that we just have to step up and do. It one’s character.

Originally Posted by Terapin
IDK if W wants me there

If she didn’t want you there, she’d not have told you about it. Or she’d likely tell you straight out not to come.

Sorry buddy. Stay strong.

D

Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.