I'm feeling confused. Something has shifted yet at the same time it feels like nothing has moved. All the comments above about actions rather than words were absolutely right. That hurt like he'll but definitely not as much as at the start of this journey. I've got questions I want to ask you vets. I am aware, I'm on a tightrope & I can easily fall off my path despite the strength & determination I feel.
My question is about communication. I rarely initiated communication & after H moved out, there was very little communication from him. This made detaching easier & over Easter, I reached a good place where I knew I could survive with or without H. As you know H appeared last Thursday & said he wanted to get back together, was going to leave OW etc etc. There's been a bit of slipping in and out of DBing from me since then and I want to get back on track. I'm working on GAL and that's still going well. I still want to stand for our relationship at the minute & I have no timeframe for this. If it happens, it will need a lot of work to make it last, if it doesn't happen, time (& GAL) will have allowed me to be in a better place.
Back to communication - how do I do it at this stage where he seems to be rapidly sliding towards depression? I want him to know I care but not in a cake and eat it way? I think I've been too accommodating. I'm still not initiating communication but the past few days, he has been messaging & he is in a difficult place. He's clearly not at the place where he can give OW up but also doesn't want to give us up. He's back off sick from work, can't eat & only gets relief from sleep. He's told D that he's still emotionally invested in OW but wants me. Both S and D sent him some pretty difficult messages last night & he's gone radio silent. I've been trying to use validation but I think he interprets that as I'm comfortable with how he is behaving. He needs to reach his own decisions & I think, because he's arguing with her, he is fearful that he will be left with nothing. It hurts like hell that I'm still the back up plan & I want to be able to approach communication the right way. Supportive but not a walkover. Any thoughts?
