I think you are correct that W does not have worries over some of these issues; glaring as they might be.
Originally Posted by URS0
…in her current state of mind these glaring issues aren’t even on her radar and I don’t know how to deal with that.
Why are you accepting the responsibility of her choices and actions? You didn’t break her, therefore you cannot fix her.
Part of her journey is experiencing the fallout and consequences of her choices. The growing up. The responsibility of it all.
You deal with it, by allowing her to walk her path.
Originally Posted by URS0
[The car] is old enough - and considering her lack of driving history - that I am very worried about her trying to get it thousands of miles to her new location. I know I need to move past those types of worries since she has fired me from being her spouse but it could blow back on me if an issue arises mid-journey.
What blow back can you foresee? It’s her car. She in operation of it. She’s an adult.
You don’t need to borrow trouble. We usually find what we are looking for. If one is looking for worry and problems, they will find them.
You can only control you. So, if the older car is truly in a condition that makes it unsafe, you could give her the newer and better vehicle. You could get the older car repaired and roadworthy. You could inform W of the problems with the older car (you really should inform her of the car’s condition good or bad). You could give her a money equivalent for the value of the car and she can purchase her own vehicle instead of driving thousands of miles.
The last option is the one my XW wanted. I offered her pick of our vehicles and she wanted cash instead. She wasn’t even thousands of miles away; her new residence was with OM, my neighbour.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
