Every divorce forum I read says it's imperative to be the first to file. If she's having 2nd thoughts, I'd probably be willing to wait and work on it. If she's still preparing, I should probably file. Wish I knew
Treat divorce like a business deal gone sideways.
If you need financial protection or security, like your spouse is burning through martial savings or some such, then get it. Otherwise leave the divorce to her.
Sometimes the leaving spouse is more generous early on. Note, they are making the proposal, the offer to you; not you filing for D. You may want to accept such an offer, or you may not.
Regarding filing first, you’ve got to ask why. An attempt to wake up a leaving spouse by threatening divorce or pushing a divorce is manipulative. And manipulation doesn’t work. If you file, you do it for you and your reasons.
Filing first is not vitally important in my opinion. In this morgen age, society is frighteningly efficient with divorce. Most locales is default 50/50 and with no fault divorces. Speeding things along just ensures you become divorced.
Making major life decisions based upon emotions will surely end with regret. Base such decisions on logic and reason and deeply held values. The latter, one’s belief and convictions, takes time to really discover. Working on self, while giving space and time, is a pretty good path.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
