The last resort technique is utilized when one’s situation is extreme - spouse has declared in no uncertain term that they want a divorce and it was not just something said in the heat of battle; they have filed for divorce; the two of you are separated physically; or IHS with very little to no contact. The LRT does not cure the underlying marital problems. It does stop the left behind partner from engaging in behaviours that are pushing the marriage towards the exit door.
- Stop the Chase: No pursuing behaviour (frequent phone calls or talks, asking for reassurances, spying one’s spouse, buying gifts, etc.)
- Get a Life: Don’t be clingy or depressed around your spouse. Act as if. Focus on yourself. Do your hobbies and those things that bring joy to your life. Become, for you, the best version of you!
- Wait and Watch: The LRT, really any marriage busting efforts, takes time. Give it time. Give your spouse time and space. Allow their anger to settle and their other emotions (sadness, grief, guilt, remorse, etc.) to surface; which are more likely to aid in your efforts. During this time, “waiting” is not being still. It’s allowing time while moving forward in your own life.
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Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
