Well, all I can say is you are all very knowledgeable! I feel like I've been thrown back into BD day. Lots and lots of similarities. First one I've noticed.. me thinking (wrongly) that my scenario is different. I was thinking... my H is different, he's showing remorse. He ended it. Turns out he sent the text to OW but then 2 days later they met again.
My weekend was full of optimism. He sent me lots of lovely messages, was talking much more meaningfully with the kids. He apologised to D for being a bad dad & said he had self referred to IC. All very hopeful. I responded to messages (in hindsight probably a bit too eager). Fast forward to today, he turned up at the house, was very complimentary, flirty & like his old self. We slept together, which was nice (but in hindsight, Im not going to do this again). Afterwards he told me he still wanted to get back together but he hasn't been able to break up with OW. He says he knows he wants me not her but she has something on him (lust?). He says he knows their relationship is going nowhere & they argue whenever they see each other & he leaves. Said the longest he's been with her is an hour over past few weeks. At this point something in me clicked that I'm back to the beginning of the game with a different deck of cards. It's very hard but I'm going to go back to detaching, not instigating contact & working on GAL. I'm aware of falling back in to fixer mode (he really needs to fix himself), which leaves my self worth minimal. I'm not sure how much I should have said to him (like I say, feels different but familiar). I told him that I didn't want to see him again whilst he is in another relationship & that I wanted someone who loves me & only me & who I can build my future life with. Not sure what the next steps will be but I'm aware that I need to tred with caution.
