So big help and advice is needed. H rang tonight and asked to come round to speak. He was tearful, said he was sorry & that he has known for a few weeks that he has made a mistake. He made all the right comments. He apologised (several times), said he had no right to ask me to try again but that he realised that what he has with OW is nowhere near what he has with me. Said that I've always been in his mind but he felt so guilty at what he has done, he thought I deserved better & tried to keep away. He told OW tonight that he couldn't be with her & he text her to end it whilst I was there. He has deleted the communication app they used and deleted all her text messages. He said he will go to IC & is willing to give me access to phone and put his self back on family tracker.
I said that I did not want him to move back in, that I was worried this was not genuine and wouldn't last & that if there was any chance of r then he needed to stay in his flat & work on the relationship & himself from there. I asked him why he had chosen to cheat rather than walk away & he said he didn't want to lose me but also was unhappy and she gave him a boost. He said he knows its not a boost he needs & that he wants us.
To remind you of background, he's 52, I'm 53. Reflecting back, I think he's been depressed for a few years and rather than talk about feelings, he's drunk more and more alcohol, which has resulted in resentment for both of us and lots of circular arguments. No previous infidelity, went on work night out in Dec 2022, she pursued him, he slept with her & admitted to affair Feb 14th. I asked him to move out when he wanted to continue to see her & he moved out Feb 28th 2023.
I feel a bit blindsided. I need some practical advice on next steps. It feels like there has been some action tonight but I know from here that many reconciliations fail when it happens too soon. Any recommended reading / previous threads / wisdom from vets is greatly appreciated. I was just starting to feel stronger & I'm really scared to go back to where I was. I've been pretty good so far in following DB, just the odd blip when my emotions have taken over.
