I set a goal for myself: -zero mention of OR or OW -go the entire time without letting him see a single tear or even an angry face (completely UNBOTHERED, even if he's lying or at OW's place.) -when he tries to bait me into an argument because he's feeling guilty about what he's doing, immediately state that I don't have time for any negativity in my life, I'm too busy, and leave the room.
My plan, since I do well with deadlines, is to be *perfect* in this way of detaching from the situation for 14 days. Then I'll reassess, take a few days away to "help my sister with the baby" and really let him think. For my GAL and PMA, I'm needing to mostly ignore this awful situation. I was still too emotional about it and not detaching properly.
H has noticed. The first two days he tried to bait me into arguments (I think he stopped at OW's place and was looking for me to give him a reason to justify it.) I told him I had no time for it and to have a good night.
The third day he wanted to have a heart to heart. He talked a lot about how I used to act (controlling, disrespectful) and stated that he sees I've changed but he needed to talk about the past. He said again that he's afraid the changes aren't permanent. I validated him and didn't comment further.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
