New to this! #2

[Rejoice]

I've been doing well for about three days.
Signs of hope, H is wearing his wedding ring, he voluntarily went to church with me on Easter, he and I have been spending a lot of fun time together.

I set a goal for myself:
-zero mention of OR or OW
-go the entire time without letting him see a single tear or even an angry face (completely UNBOTHERED, even if he's lying or at OW's place.)
-when he tries to bait me into an argument because he's feeling guilty about what he's doing, immediately state that I don't have time for any negativity in my life, I'm too busy, and leave the room.

My plan, since I do well with deadlines, is to be *perfect* in this way of detaching from the situation for 14 days.
Then I'll reassess, take a few days away to "help my sister with the baby" and really let him think.
For my GAL and PMA, I'm needing to mostly ignore this awful situation. I was still too emotional about it and not detaching properly.

H has noticed.
The first two days he tried to bait me into arguments (I think he stopped at OW's place and was looking for me to give him a reason to justify it.)
I told him I had no time for it and to have a good night.

The third day he wanted to have a heart to heart. He talked a lot about how I used to act (controlling, disrespectful) and stated that he sees I've changed but he needed to talk about the past. He said again that he's afraid the changes aren't permanent.
I validated him and didn't comment further.
He said he doesn't know what to do about OW. He enjoys having a "friend like her" to talk to because he doesn't feel safe talking with me. He said if he just cuts her off completely he feels it's not fair to her because "she's innocent in all of this." I about gagged. I kept my cool but those two statements absolutely disgusted me--innocent, that's hilarious.
Lots of excuses for his behavior but he made some good points about some ways I communicate that don't work well in our relationship, and I can put a stop to that.

I did a couple of super unexpected things that seemed to get his attention. I dared H to get a piercing with me and we did it. I challenged myself to "bless those who hurt me" and I extended an invitation to OW's children for our annual glow in the dark Easter egg hunt. She refused but I felt good knowing I had extended kindness. Various other off the wall things that have H questioning everything.