Was a big day supporting S with healthcare and it went well. W and I shared relief and gratitude for the positive progress.
Later in the day, W dropped by to get a cooking pot. D and I were home. I asked W if she would bring the pot back after she used it. W said, you aren’t using it. I said I plan to use it, D also uses it and that I need her to talk to me about taking things from our home. She said that I can buy my own pot and explained that this pot was a gift to her from her friends. I replied thank you for reminding me it was a gift to you, I forgot that. And I did not try to prevent her from taking it. She has been taking other things from our home without discussing it with me. She said angrily, you can’t have the whole house and everything in it and slammed the door as she left.
I apologized to D for our fight in front of her acknowledging that it impacts her and told her I am trying to work things out fairly with W. D replied no one was talking to W the way W was. D had somewhere to be, gave me a hug and went out. This morning, D and I had a conversation. I asked if she had any questions for me. She asked if W and I discussed it any further after what she witnessed. I said we did a little by text. I told her it’s important to me that I am fair to W. D said she has some questions for M but doesn’t want to get in the middle and doesn’t want to complicate things. I told her it’s important for her to be able to be honest with W and I about her feelings and to be able to voice her questions and speak up for herself. I said that I want to be open and honest and share what I am able to within my limits but that D can ask me anything. She said she was satisfied for the time being.
W texted me several times after the incident, both last night and today:
“ every time I’ve asked you for something you’ve either said no or given me some crap about me borrowing it. So why would I ask?”
“ Let’s just make a list and split things up then. I’ve tried to be generous and patient, but you are obviously not on the same page“
“ Not being able to let go of one pot makes me think that you are wanting a messy and expensive divorce. It’s just so childish and sad. There might be things worth fighting over, but I just don’t see how that pot is one of them”
I am planning to give this 24 - 48 hrs before responding.
I went out got a haircut and met up with Pastor for dinner.
