Thank you all for the advice, I did move back in the bedroom and she is sleeping in the man cave, she suggested that we swap one week she gets the bedroom and one week I get it. Should I not agree to that? Maybe I should say no thanks I like the bedroom better.
Well done moving back in there 💪💪💪
With regards to her proposal to alternate the bedroom:
Really bad answer - “Sure, that seems fair.”
(Anything which is submissive or trying to be nice).
Ordinary answer - “No, I’m staying here because you’re the one choosing to break our marriage.”
(Comes across like you’re butt-hurt and trying to punish or manipulate her)
Best answer - “No.”
That’s it. STFU. Don’t discuss. Don’t negotiate. Don’t provide reasoning. Leave as soon as possible. She may be angry, but she’ll respect you as a man who won’t be pushed around.
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She may be having an affair she is a nurse and there is a doctor that she works with that she told me she is attracted to. She also seems go out a lot with her so called "girlfriends from work" at least once a week and usually does get home to late.
She most likely is having that affair.
The BEST way to deal with that is to do NOTHING. Don’t investigate, don’t ask, don’t demand to know why she’s out late, don’t stalk, don’t search her phone. The reality is that, IN HER HEAD, an affair is justified. So once you find out and tell her you know or make demands she end it, most likely she will feel threatened. She will probably say some typical WS bullshit like “This is why I had to leave you.”
The only way anyone ever snaps out of an affair fog is if they simultaneously work out FOR THEMSELVES that it’s the wrong thing to do, and simultaneously stand to lose everything suddenly.
If she admits to an affair, say nothing. No arguing, begging, pleading or crying. If you seem unaffected, it will confuse her. Then, the next time she leaves the house, move all her stuff into storage. Like everything! Then text her “I no longer wish to share my life with a cheat. Your stuff has been moved to storage at xxxx. The code to access is xxxx. My lawyer will be in touch.”
If she’s having an affair, that’s the best chance you have IMHO of turning things around.
Don’t do or say anything the old cschalla would have done. Do the opposite. Confuse her. Bring female friends (platonic) over for beers. Go out and party. Imagine her being around is a bit of an inconvenience.
99% of men (like me) who come to this site are submissive by nature, or have been beaten into submission by someone threatening to leave us. Men who are confident, outgoing, attractive and confident in themselves don’t come to this site - because if a woman is leaving them, they say good riddance and let them leave.
Please work on your own confidence and self love with a professional counsellor. You deserve someone who treats you well. And at the same time with your counsellor, identify what you did wrong in the marriage, identify your own faults - and prioritise the hard work to fix them.
