Detaching

[Mach1]

As far as goals....

I can't say that I'm aware of any that you have.

What are your goals for you ??

1- healthy: physically - running, lifting weights, focus on nutrition/sleep/preventive health approach/stress management, emotionally - therapy, relationally - growth in how I show up in relation to others, spiritually - prayer/scriptures/service to others, financially - create wealth/plan retirement/give generously

What methods are you following ? What steps do you have outlined to get there, and how will you know when you DO get there ???

2- lead myself: follow my purpose, my calling, develop my leadership

How does this fall into your #1 goal ?

3- host people in my home: family dinners, bible study/growth group, occasional parties

Have you always done this ? When is your next one ?

4- travel

Where are some places that you would like to see/visit ?

5- music, dance and arts

What kind of arts/music/dance ?

What are some changeable behavioral patterns that you can recognize and start to change ??

1- I have started to change a pattern of being defensive or minimizing when I have felt attacked. I am not making excuses.

Explain what that looks like, and how you are changing that ?

2- I am getting unstuck from unhelpful, inflexible stubbornness.

How ?

3- I am growing in empathy - to see and hear and feel what those close to me want/need me to know about their experiences, their needs and wants.

Expand on this a bit....

Is it just an awareness ??

Who do you hold accountable IF you fail at them ???

1- myself

Have you always done that ??

Then why are you pursuing that ?

Ok, when I am aware, mindful, conscious of where we were and where I am now, I do not pursue going back to the way things were. Autopilot kills. I am still learning and understanding more about how bad it was. And I am determined to be accountable and honest and choose how I proceed consciously, purposefully and intentionally.

You may not be pursuing the old relationship constantly, yet you are pursuing the other person that was in that relationship with you.

Almost like you are putting yourself into situations so that she can see how much you are changing..



So let me ask you this....

IF she came to you today, and wanted to work on things...

Are you the person that you want to be in your next relationship ??

Would you want to be in a relationship with yourself ???




Thank you for outlining your goals....

I would just like for you to be a little more specific ...

The broader your goals are, the easier they are to circumvent and find excuses if you don't achieve them...


I.E.

5- music, dance and arts

I am going to see 5 live music shows before the end of the year, I'm going to a retro Disco bar twice, and I am planning a trip to Chicago to see the art museum.


Pinpoint your goals.....Pinpoint your growth.....

Make sense ??