New to this! #2

[Rejoice]

Last night was a disaster.
I lost my cool, again.

I saw a text from OW to H, and the jist of it was asking him to move in with her so that she no longer has to live in her crummy apartment. I did not see his response... Yet.
I'm disgusted, obviously she knows my husband is a hard worker and makes decent money and she's trying to snatch a better life for herself.

So I was upset. I didn't tell him what I saw, but I was angry and let him know I was angry. I told him there are two parts of me, and I feel insane because they're both equally strong. One part loves him and the other hates him. One part wants to literally run away and never see him again and the other wants only him. I told him his behavior is disgusting.

He was angry that I called him out and brought this up, obviously. But he ended up telling me that he's scared that my changes aren't permanent, and that divorce is the very last thing he wants but he wants to be sure things won't go back to the same old way. He held me while I cried and told me he loves me, unprompted.

So, he's either leading me on or leading OW on. I lost my cool and have no further answers or anything to show for it, which is to be expected.

I guess today is a new day for detaching.