Wow, Pam, how is it you come up with the food for thought topics? I'm supposed to be paying bills and doing inventory, but here I am again...
I have to think back more than a year and remember what it was I was thinking when I finally registered here on the BB. I remember being really afraid that Mr. Wonderful would find out I was airing our dirty laundry for all to see, so I opted NOT to use my given name. Heck, it wasn't until the holidays that I actually started signing it here.
What's in a name? For me a couple things. A funny cartoon character who could head into a phone booth and become someone with super powers. And I have a thing for Wally Cox... And the more generally known description of an underdog.
I knew from my own family (with the exception of my sister, who is reforming her ways thanks to her H), I grew up in a group of people who are sports nuts. We watch anything and everything. And when the teams we actively support aren't playing, we cheer for the underdog.
At the beginning of this journey, I felt like an underdog. I felt like there was going to have to be a Hail Mary opportunity for me to pull off a win in my state. And I knew that if I was as hungry as an underdog, I had a fighting chance.
Which is probably why I didn't register as Polly Purebred, Shoe Shine Boy or Simon Bar Sinister.
I think some people aren't even looking for originality when they register. They think of a word and go with it. After all, sometimes it's hard to come up with something on the fly.
I'm not sure what I'd do if I had to start over. Maybe I'd take Meredith2 or PamelaCWannabe?
What I DO know is that I would never choose a negative description... Loserinlove or Hopeless or Desperate or Dejected. I might have thought all of those things at any given time, but they were not how I saw myself.
My BIL and I had a really long convo at the park last night. We had taken D7, who was wearing shorts, a winter jacket and snow boots... We discussed negative self images and perceptions. We started on it when I told him how worried I am about my sister and her methods for managing stress.
We ended up going into detail about how she sees herself. We both know the word "overachiever" is next to her picture in the Big Dictionary in the sky, but it really defines all sorts of things for her--and most (if not all) are carryovers from childhood.
I was continuing a conversation that originally began with Myrrh a few days ago: how others who have known us for a really long time label us and they continually keep recasting us for those roles in a drama we have not auditioned for.
This is a battle I didn't know I had been fighting until it came up in C 2 years ago. Imagine my surprise when I finally felt the divine bonk that I don't have to audition for the role anymore!
My .02 for this subject.
Just sign me "Winning the War"!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
