You don’t always have to maintain positive thoughts. It’s not as easy as starting DB and everything gets solved overnight.
Separation and divorce is a marathon. The first 12 months minimum are a battle.
Your measure of progress TMS is not when everything is perfect. The measure of progress is that those hard days, when it seems insurmountable and your emotions control you rather than your brain - they just start to get a bit less frequent.
A few months in, you’ll have a couple of bad days a week.
At six months, you can often go a week before having a wobble.
At twelve months, you might only struggle one day a month, and even then it might only be half a day.
Rome wasn’t built in a day. Rather than collapse and catastrophise when you’re having a bad day, embrace it. Know it’s part of the process. Every time you have a crap day, you’re getting closer towards the end.
It’s like climbing Mount Everest in a year. Sometimes you’ll slide back a step or two and feel defeated, but if you zoom out, you’re higher than you were last week/last month/last year.
Have you read my exercise thread? Exercise is the single best thing you can do to assist your own mental health while recovering from separation and divorce. There’s also stuff later on in my thread on how to limit rumination time so that bad days become bad hours, bad minutes and eventually bad seconds.
