I agree with K18 that your wife is likely involved with someone else. Likely this someone else is also married. That is where your confusion comes from. The OM pulls her, she is then sure she wants to end things. When he pushes her away, she then wants to make sure you are still plan B. This is a very common dynamic at play with a cheating spouse that is unsure of their future with the OP.
Both are living in a fantasy world. Fastest way to pop that bubble is to push them together. Most wait to long.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
