My wife says she is done

[Dats000]

I suppose there has been people who posted or at least thought of posting some April fools jokes here. April fools day has always been a fun day for me as a kid. Now as a lay here in bed while my kids are still asleep in their beds at my house I vision the corny jokes they are going to make up. And me fake laughing at their jokes. Or maybe this is the year that the jokes stop due to them getting older. Spring has always been my favorite season. I love the birds chirping in the morning, snow melting, time to put snowblower, shovels, kids sleds, etc away. Neighbors coming outside after “hibernating” and enjoying longer conversations.

I’m grateful for for getting through the toughest step of this process. I’m grateful that most of my days have good parts in them. That I’m at a place where I have had some really happy new experiences. That I have accepted to be consciously aware of my anger and fears. That I’m learning to have joy and understand it’s importance in me.

I see myself being a better parent. I’m not reacting as much with them immediately. Example: I’m not reacting to D11 about being on her electronics as soon as I enter the room. She told me that this make her feel bad. That’s all I needed to hear now that I’m in the right mindset. Now my goal is to just say hi, give her a smile. Maybe say that I love you or give her a hug and then walk away and continue doing what I was doing. Then at the right time when I’m not annoyed I will talk with D11 about the amount of time on electronics. I’m following the same concept with S13.

I still mess up. Still stick my foot in my mouth. Still got upset with S13 when he was at a friends house and it was time for me to pick him up. I couldn’t get a hold of him cause his phone battery died - this happens all the time. Instead of just picking him up and waiting to let him know that he has to be responsible about keeping his phone charged when I was no longer upset. I let him know right away which got him made at me too. I knew immediately after that I should have waited.

W has been away for a week now. I was busy with housekeeping when the kids were gone. the time went by fast. S13 has expressed some all around sadness. I sent an email to his school counselor to make sure they talk this week. D11 says that she just tries not to think about it.

Me GAL has been being housekeeping, reading (got the 5 languages of love on the nightstand. Plan to do the online test this weekend) and going for walks. I planted seeds inside for my vegetable garden. I think I’ll take my kids to a golf simulator today. It’s spring break here and most families are traveling. I will know more about my finances in the next months so I can plan GAL with money.