....my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Felt I could have been writing so many of these words from my own recent experiences....I figure I could use some support…....I’m preparing myself for what I think is more inevitable confusion to come. I welcome the support of this group going forward.
Everyone here has written almost the same open post, with just difference in the "non-important" details.
It appears to me that you are further ahead in dealing with this rationally than most new posters. If this site is triage for marriage, you are not bleeding as bad as most. With that said, you have lots of personal growth work to do.
It is like a big onion. Many layers. Peel off the big easy layers first. We will talk in generals, but we need specifics from you to be able to effectively help you.
For example, I believe that it is extremely important for you to change the way you interact with her, as well as the way you interact with others. Your behavior in general can also be improved. For you to know what to change, you needed to take a hard look at yourself and do a lot of research into attraction (as well as other topics).
You have qualities that women in general find attractive and other qualities that women find unattractive. Pretty easy to drop the unattractive behaviors, if you are aware they are unattractive. Then you can start adding new behaviors that you don't have that make you more attractive.
Go down the rabbit hole researching attraction. Understand how women test their men and learn how to pass the tests. Understand how supplicating a woman will destroy her attraction for her man.
As you go through this, you will get conflicting advise. For each decision you have to make, get as many options as you can so you can make an educated decision. Make your choice, and live with the consequences of that choice, good or bad. What worked for one poster may backfire for another, and what backfired for one poster may work for another. What works is counter intuitive. For example, most initially believe that talking things out will work, but my observation is that the opposite works better.
I wish you well during this difficult season of your life.
And one last thing, Don't be boring.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
