Thanks for these responses. Have been digging into my R with D in IC as well as R with other kids. And yes lots of room for improvement and need for (and benefit from) healthy change.
The thought I spat out about telling W that I am considering it (which truth be told I am not ready for) came from a book I was reading and the idea was fairness to inform one’s spouse they are thinking about it but I see that would not be sensible for me. And my intention wasn’t to manipulate her. I want to act in healthy, powerful and respectful ways and keep learning how to not be manipulative.
