Thanks for the replies. I knew what the consensus would be, guess I just needed to hear it. When I originally decided that a year would be enough and I would end it, I obviously wasn't thinking correctly and was angry. A lot. I really thought then that one year was the magic number and I wouldn't want to continue in limbo. That was silly, just my anger controlling my emotions.
R2C-I have made changes for sure. My attitude is different, more confident. I'm slowly changing my wardrobe. I know that's just a material thing. The change is important because I had become the sweat pants and hoodie guy. 99% of the time that was my outfit in cool weather. Trying to dress like an adult now which helps with my confidence and how people see me. I'm more assertive in our R. Not overbearing or a jerk, just stopped letting her take the lead all the time.
Bttrfly-I really am doing the things I described to Rock. I guess this one year thing was still stuck in my head. I really thought at this point I wouldn't want to continue in limbo. I know that I was fooling myself. I genuinely think I am standing, not waiting. I am definitely a better man than I was at BD. W has commented a few times on the changes I've made. I just say thanks and change the convo without trying to pat myself on the back. I do know that if our R doesn't work out I will be a much better partner if ever enter into another R. I see things I've done wrong that W hasn't even pointed out. I'm trying to be more self aware. I had planned on spending the day walking and hiking at a local place I've been visiting since I was a kid. Thousands of acres and miles of trails. One of my favorite places in the world. I'll let the day come and go. Spending the day outdoors always does me good.
Kind-I wasn't planning on using that day for an ultimatum. I thought I would just move on if things hadn't changed yet. I was wrong. I can continue on as we are. Things are incrementally changing. Sometimes I think too much. Thanks for your response.
