Don’t take this the wrong way. Know that my advice comes from kindness and a genuine desire for you to self-improve. But I feel like I need to spell it out pretty bluntly.
Quote
but found out she had blocked my number on her phone. I emailed her saying that.
You know you gave her exactly what she wanted, right?
She manipulated you to test you and you gave her a big green light that she’s safe to keep doing what she’s doing. This is what SHE saw Rockon doing:
“Look at ME! I’m waiting here, doing the love sick puppy dog dance, waiting for you to come back whenever you’re ready! I’m pretending to be strong and unaffected, but I’m sniffing around for any sign that you might come back.”
She can see straight through it.
If she blocks your phone, go to absolute radio silence on all communication 🤷♂️ Let her have what she wants. Don’t email her to show her that you know she blocked you. What is the point of that? How will she ever decide she misses and wants you if she doesn’t know what it’s like without you?
Come on Rock, this is DB 101. You need to CHANGE what you’re doing, because it isn’t working.
I’d highly recommend you Google “YouTube transactional analysis ego states and basic transactions” and watch the three videos in the series.
It might give you some insight into how she continues to psychologically run rings around you, and how you can break the mould of your cr*p interactions.. Please let me know your thoughts on these three videos.
Lastly, I think I see a pattern of wishy-washy type statements when you refer to your own self improvement. Some members have been like “How does that look exactly?” and your answers are very fluffy, like “working on being a better person, being a good Dad, letting it all go.” Nothing concrete.
The reality of your posts suggests you’re doing the complete opposite of letting anything go. If you were letting it all go, you wouldn’t have even noticed she had blocked you.
Answers to questions about your self-improvement should be direct, tangible, measurable things. Such as:
1. Started going to church/temple/whatever once a week and won’t miss one week for the next three months 2. Doubled my IC frequency because I have problems with communicating too much 3. Set aside 30 mins every day where I’m going to go for a run 4. Had a lawyer appointment to discuss finance, custody and have a plan if she files 5. Signed daughter and I up to a weekly movie club 6. Got a library membership and reading one relationship psychology book per fortnight 7. I have re-read DB or DR 8. Have setup a “swear jar” so that every time I communicate with her I have to deposit $50.
These are real, strong, measurable self- improvements. Not “I’m going to be a great unicorn with rainbows and love hearts.”
I hope you see the point I’m making and that we want the best for you.
