You have a way with words kind18. Your post made me chuckle & really resonated.
By “have a way with words”, do you mean “you have the subtlety of a sledge hammer”? 🤣🤣🤣
Sometimes I wonder if I’m too abrupt. I guess I see a lot of myself in people who arrive here. Weak, scared, living in fear, and allowing themselves to be treated like sh** because they’re desperate to save a marriage. An over riding principle of DBing is that what you did before didn’t work, so you have to try something new. For me, that something new that people need is self respect, strength - and helping them to realise they can’t manipulate or engineer their partner into seeing what they want them to see.
Hopefully my way with words was helpful!
In terms of your current predicament, I think you did really well. Not responding or responding with a big delay is always a good idea. Build mystery. If he’s wondering what you’re up to or where you are, that’s a good thing, right? He’s thinking about you! Why would you put and end to that by saying “Sorry, I was busy doing the washing when you messaged”.
Let him worry what you’re up to.
Quote
but he'd sent another message to say he was taking D for a meal on the day I'm taking S to open day at university & asked what time I would be home?
He didn’t get an immediate answer, so he messaged about D and S to try and force an interaction with you.
Quote
I replied I don't know but I'll text D to let her know ETA. He then replied OK with a kiss. I didn't respond.
