New to this! #2

[Rejoice]

In regards to specific changes, I hope this encourages someone:

I could give a list of 1000 things I'm doing differently but I think it's best to describe it as one thing: a particular shift in perspective.

I simply decided that although my pain is true, although the betrayal is wrong, although I've been a good mom and wife all along, although the bitterness I was carrying around from the past could be justified to anyone who cared to listen... The highest truth is always love, and grace. So I made a conscious decision to live out the love I have for everyone around me and drop any right to be angry at the foot of the Cross.

I felt like the Grinch, whose heart grew three sizes that day. Every change I've made has been from that decision. I've looked for the ways my family needs to be loved the most and I've done those things. I've been able to apologize instead of hold on to pride. I've taken care of my cheating H while he's sick and told a child who stabbed me in the back with her words that my love for her counts for way more than anything she'll ever do wrong. I'm no longer bitter or critical.

Viewing life through the lens of how best I can love everyone in each moment freed me of all the behaviors that drove my H away to begin with. I just shifted the focus off of myself. And it feels like freedom, peace, and joy.