Marching in limbo with MLC H (3)

[DnJ]

Good Morning marching

Well done with the conversation. You let H lead and express himself. Nothing he said was even disrespectful or boundary-worthy.

He goes to bed and wakes up early. He doesn't know how to fill his time. He sounded pretty miserable. Once again, he told me he's "just trying to get by." He's going to therapy and he stopped drinking. He realized that he has a habit of avoiding his problems.

Yes, depression and miserable are apparent.

It is interesting, and a positive thing, that he mentioned therapy; his over drinking; his stopping of drinking; and his habit of avoiding problems. As Kind wisely said, do not try to fix him.

If you notice, H didn’t ask for help. Well done just listening and validating.

I suspect H was also somewhat testing the waters with you. It’s been four months since speaking with you, and he didn’t come at you with divorce talk.

Continue doing what you’re doing. Live your life, decorate your home, and so on. Let H simmer away. He needs his depression and inner looking to find what is bothering him. From the conversation, he might even realize that it’s not you. So, do not place a target upon yourself.

He misses me. That much is clear from the conversation. I dare not read much more into it. He hasn't said anything about R.

Remember H’s path is currently driven by his emotions. Today he might feel differently.

Do keep your expectations dialled down to zero. You are wise not to read too much into what he said; look to his behaviours and only half of those.

And continue with no R talks. H didn’t bring up D or R, so follow suit. Let him bring that up first, and when he does be a non-fixer about it.

I'm only really starting to process my emotions from this call. I hadn't heard his voice in four months. The call reminded me of old times. I'm sad. I'm also angry and even a little bit disgusted by him.

I'm going to give myself some time to settle down before I think about next steps.

Yes, you will have some emotions to process. Feel them, acknowledge them, and let them flit.

You have received some validating feedback/proof of H moving in the right direction. His path is slow, no need to watch it too intently.

Your next steps are like before. Keep doing what you’re doing.

How is your health issue? Is it under control? Being managed?

Hope you have a great day.

D