It’s good that you spoke, and he got some stuff off his chest.
But that’s it, you should go back to radio silence.
Remember what MWD says, whatever isn’t working - stop it, and whatever is working, keep doing it.
You being complete radio silence has worked because he’s finally started to look inside and realised he is unhappy and unable to make himself feel happy. He cried. He owned his drinking issues.
The mistake most make at this stage is to start engaging with them too much, one good phone call and then ringing them and trying to fix them and make it better.
Silence is working - so continue the silence. You listened, acknowledged he feels rubbish, and that’s the end of it. He needs more time in the oven to keep simmering away.
Also, your fear that this was going to be a divorce talk is a good lesson for everyone around here. DNJ, as usual, was right. LBS are driven by fear of the unknown. They always tend towards worst possibilities and outcomes. Next time you’re afraid of something, remember what just happened. Yes, it might be bad… but most likely, you’re overthinking it and everything will work out okay.
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I'm going to give myself some time to settle down before I think about next steps.
It’s excellent that you’re going to take time and think on things. We never want emotions controlling our thoughts and behaviour.
Next steps? What next steps? You don’t have to DO anything 🤷♂️ He’s thinking, you listened. That’s the end of it! I don’t know why LBS think they have to act on every conversation.
This is where GAL is super important. You can worry less about what you should do or say, or what he is thinking or doing - because you should be busy getting fit, doing hobbies, reading books and living life to the full. We only get 80 laps around the sun Marching… best not to waste it waiting for him to decide what he wants.
