Sometimes W’s venting of frustrations sounds so crazy to me. I’m Just reflecting more.
She got really angry with me and hung up on me when we were on the phone discussing S’s needs earlier in the week and I mentioned a detail I had learned from a conversation I had with his health care provider the day before. It was not urgent or emergent but when I mentioned it, W had a big reaction and said that I’m not being a team player and that I’m withholding information from her. And then hung up.
In actuality, she is not being team. She has not been on my team or our family’s team for months and months (I didn’t say that to her, I’m just reflecting and telling you). There have been some instances now where she is making more of an effort to be team and where I have seen glimpses of the old W. But I have been the one consistently visiting S, connecting and collaborating with his health care team and keeping W in the loop. I have been the one there for our other kids and looking after our home.
Another thing I am working on is to stop brokering peace for W with our kids; stop protecting her from the consequences of her actions. I am examining this and asking my close friends to help me see my blind spots as well.
I want to determine my limitations.
And in regards to choosing to do or not do family things with W, I am going to view through a lens of wisdom vs foolishness and will be asking myself some questions:
Does this bring us/me/her closer to the Lord? Does this (saying yes or doing) help me to walk faithfully in the call the Lord has given me? Does this enable unhealthy habits? Am I brokering peace between W and the kids in any way? Is my service to W enabling her to continue to receive the benefits of family while she continues to live self-centeredly?
