Today I am going back to DBing by the book and started reading DR again. The conversation last night included her giving me her reasons for not wanting the marriage, which to sum it up was, she wants to do everything herself, ie take care of the kids, make her own money, do her own laundry, etc. She also said that she tried the last 2 weeks to love me, but can't make herself. I thanked her for honesty and left it at that. This morning I spoke with an L and she recommended offering her to pay a deposit and two months rent to see if she would move out. This is the second time I have heard this from two different L. When she came downstairs I told her that I thought about what she said and that everything she described she wanted was possible in the marriage. The only thing that couldn't be done inside the marriage is other people, so my assumption is this is part of the reason she wants to leave. I told her that just because she hasn't been physical with these people, that I could not be a part of talking and texting others inappropriately. I proposed what the L stated and asked her if I did this would she go? Her answer was I don’t know, I don’t have a full time job yet. I want to talk to my counselor. Now as I think on it this could come off as controlling and I still don’t want to pay for anything for her to leave, but I put it out there. Part of me is hoping she accepts and part of me is not. I also reset up our weekly calendar for days with kids.
