Hey all, Been awhile since I have posted on here. It’s been a rollercoaster some ups and some downs. On a personal level I am still working on myself, mainly growing my relationship with God, still reading a ton, doing my coaching and Al- Anon, Krav Maga and riding my motorcycle a lot. As for my marriage it has been all over the place. I haven’t been great at DBing and get pulled back by W frequently. I felt things were getting better she mentioned wanting to start dating again, we talked about building a foundation on honesty and trust. We Had a few good weeks. She even opened up about the guys she talked to in AA, there were 2 that she stated. The last one is 22 years old, crazy. She was even opening up about her counseling and how they have been talking about how to slowly bring back physical and making sure both of us are have clear boundaries in place, etc. I didn’t take this as her wanting to come back to the marriage, but a start in the right direction. This weekend everything has gone backwards. She told me the last couple weeks were pretend and that she isn’t sure she wants to start dating,and thinks she just wants to be friends. Tonight she told me that her feelings haven’t changed and that she wants to be on her own, raise the kids on her own, not be married, doesn’t want any relationship, hates our house, etc. I totally fell backwards I’m all of my DBing. I think I just got excited that the interest was peaked and started to see a little bit of my old wife back. This time it didn’t hurt as much when she said these things, I think I expected it. It’s posted all over these boards. I know I need to get back to DBing, I hope it’s not too late. I do feel like I have been standing for my values and principles, working on being the lighthouse. I am trying to live with integrity I’m everything I do and just do the next right thing. Here is to getting back on the horse.
