I'm doing okay. I've noticed I've been less patient and more angry with W lately, so I've been trying to distract myself from that by keeping busy. I’ve got some indoor vegetable/herb starters going. I’ve got my half marathon coming up on Saturday. W and the girls will be out of town this weekend visiting W’s cousin (the cousin who found out everything through D18) so I’m trying to figure fill up my weekend. I’ve got several options with friends, family and potential new friends, just trying to decide on what exactly I want to do. I’m juggling a few books again and finding it hard to dedicate time to them. I’ve also been trying to help S19 with getting a new job and I have to plan a trip with D19 to go visit the college she is going to next year.
I have almost completed filling out D paperwork. It feels increasingly likely that I’ll be the one to file. W refuses to take action on anything and it’s getting increasingly harder to live like this. I don’t know what she’s waiting for but I increasingly look forward to the relief of moving on. I think I have a good plan in place to be able to keep the house, but it depends on whether she’ll agree. I struggle with the balance of waiting things out and taking action to avoid delaying the inevitable. Since Valentine’s Day I’ve had a hard time thinking of any kind of positive thoughts toward W. At home I don’t want to see her, talk to her or even hear her voice. And I keep feeling a need to let people know what’s going on with us. It’s hard to keep all of this to only a handful of people. But I know that time will come and until then I have to do what’s best for myself and my kids.
I still plan to hold off on any decisions this month and reevaluate if my feelings have changed at the end of the month. But yeah, I wouldn’t say I’m doing great, but I’m doing okay.
I’m still following your thread, but I’ve been pretty quiet here. How are things going with you? Seems we are both experiencing feelings of anger these days. I hope you are finding productive ways of handling it as well.
