H has reached out asking if I have any news and saying that he'd like to talk. I don't have a good feeling about this. I am afraid he will ask if I feel settled in enough to start the D. In January I told him that I'd need a couple months to sort out the living situation. So, I think that's why he's asking if I have any news.
I will be strong. I will schedule the conversation for a time that works for me. I think my approach will be to be direct and say that I still don't agree with this divorce because we haven't exhausted all options for repair. I will say that half of the complaints he had about the marriage can be easily addressed. The other half doesn't make sense to me (such as his blaming me for him not clearing out the freezer), and I'll ask him to explain more. Then I'll reflect his explanation back to him both so he can see I'm listening and also so he can hear what he's saying.
I don't want to D. On one level, I can think of it as a piece of paper. But the D process will be complicated for us. I will have to give a cause. There's no no-fault divorce.
I want to see where he's at but I don't think it's where I'd like him to be.
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Funny, my anemia is improving but it turns out the cause could be something that might require an invasive procedure. So health management is still my top priority.
I don't want any of this. I just want to bury my head in the sand.
