Been enjoying some peace and quiet without W last few days and it’s been really nice. As I said, we have had some family time recently and I have enjoyed some aspects (really enjoyed myself, my kids, community and recreation in nature - what’s missing there? hmmm And the fact I am relieved and enjoying being without her is telling.
Processing some anger today as I was out on a long nature walk by myself. Came home and made a great dinner for D and I.
Been enjoying some peace and quiet without W last few days and it’s been really nice. As I said, we have had some family time recently and I have enjoyed some aspects (really enjoyed myself, my kids, community and recreation in nature - what’s missing there? hmmm And the fact I am relieved and enjoying being without her is telling.
Pay attention to this.
The truth is, by the time most of us find ourselves in this situation, the marriage probably isn't working for either spouse. Now, that doesn't mean bail. It does mean it's a great opportunity to dig deeper, see your side of the street, figure out what you want and go from there.
Hopefully, in an ideal situation, the couple comes back together with a new, improved marriage.
Sadly, that is rare. Not impossible. Best to do as you're doing, taking note of your responses. Feelings aren't facts. Feelings are fleeting but you know, if they are coming up --- well, in my experience, there's usually a darn good reason for it. Let them come, acknowledge them, and process it all, as you're doing. It's the only way ... there are no shortcuts here, Rock. But you're a smart guy - I'm sure you've already figured that out.
Originally Posted by Rockon
Processing some anger today as I was out on a long nature walk by myself. Came home and made a great dinner for D and I.
There was a time, when I was finally able to feel the anger, when it felt so vast that if I unleashed it I was afraid it would destroy everything it touched. My IC said go out in nature and give it to the earth. I found that helpful. Maybe you will too.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Yes feelings including anger are fleeting and they have something to tell me and have to be processed and dealt with. Not run from forever so I have been embracing them as I’m ready.
Digging deeper gaining insight with compassion and deciding where I want to go and who I am to be.
Whew Im exhausted. Been taking a break from W since our family times that I described. She and I worked (well) together today with S’ and his treatment team on care planning. I kept our communication to the topic at hand and otherwise was friendly and vague about myself (W said I haven’t been answering her calls and asked about me and what i am up to. She texted that it would have been nice if I invited her to join me on a mini trip I took) and gave her space. I am definitely noticing anger (and also compassion) feelings towards W coming up these days.
