Let the latest dust settle. And you keep moving forward.
Originally Posted by MA1970
Our S(19) has told him he doesn't want to see him other than at football game. D16 is trying to pin him down to regular contact but he's avoiding it. Do I just leave her to sort this with him?
Avoiding being pinned down seems to be a common theme for these folk. They want carefree, no responsibilities, all unicorns and rainbows; all in a futile effort to outrun whatever internal pressures are driving them.
Regarding D16, I’d tell her that her Dad’s behaviour has nothing to do with her. Continue your support of S19 and D16, answer questions, provide guidance, and gently steer.
Originally Posted by MA1970
I'd prefer to go radio silent to give me a chance of recovery and fully detaching but am also worried that he won't arrange to meet with her & this would break her heart.
You can go dark/dim to H. It’s a good method for detaching and regaining one’s equilibrium.
You speaking to him, or not, will have little affect upon how much he reaches out to his kids. If he doesn’t want to see his kids, he will “find” an excuse not to.
Originally Posted by MA1970
He really has become a different man. I don't recognize him at all and have no desire to spend time with him like this.
Yes, it is incredible how our spouse changes. Their new behaviours are quite unrecognizable, not fitting with the years long of who they have been.
Stay strong girl.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
