Well, she’s off on her “business” trip. Funny thing, though, she left her briefcase which is always attached at her hip whether at work or business trips. Breathe. Can’t think of that.
When she came down for breakfast she found nothing fixed for her like I’d normally do. The change in her demeanor was obvious - almost like where is mine but she didn’t say a word. I decided not to try small talk given the amount of huffing. As I got up to I just told her to be safe and let us know when she got in.
I’m torn on if I should attempt small talk or just treat her as if she’s a roommate who is just renting a room and nothing more.
Cadet is right as always. Nothing to be gained from small talk. In fact, small talk can land you into the unenviable position of the friendzone. You don't want to be friends with her. So why do things that only a friend would do?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Treat her like a roommate. Right now, in her mind, the marriage is over. So, while she thinks that, she becomes a roommate and things become businesslike. There is no reason to have small talk at this point. She wants her freedom to do as she pleases, then give it to her.
As for making breakfast for her...time to cut that out unless you are fixing for yourself and you have plenty left over. She needs to see what it is going to be like when you aren't readily available to bail her out on bills and responsibilities. It's okay to to wish her a good day, but I wouldn't have any small talk with her.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Note to self: don’t open old emails. After reading the emails, I found myself starting to go back down that dark path. I'm not sure what made me read them - I was looking for something totally unrelated in one of my accounts when I cam across them. Seems like such a different time and totally different me. I can't imagine myself thinking/acting/writing like I used to back then. Oh well. Growth and moving on, right?
Nice and peaceful night. Dinner and board games with the kids followed a long walk with the dog. It was while we were walking that the kids started asking questions about their mom. One of the things I’ll never do is talk bad about their mom. Never. So I told them to FaceTime her tonight and I think that made them feel a little better. I tried not to listen but they were in the same room so I couldn’t help. They do love their mom and I won’t destroy that image. She didn’t talk long as she was going out. Oh well, whatever is more important, eh? Ugh. At least they were happy.
I let them stay up a little extra tonight and we all just sat on the couch. They picked those silly fail videos and we had some great laughs. Seems that we all needed that. Those kids.
Thank you! I don’t see how anyone could do any less for their kids. That’s one’s of the things that had me bothered about all this - it seems she’s distancing herself from them, even if it’s slightly. And that breaks my heart. Not for me, but them. If that makes sense.
Feel good event this morning: I get up before the kids for my morning run and when I get back they were not only up and had made breakfast for me. When I asked why, they said just because. How about that.
