It’s the nights that are the worst…that’s when thoughts invade because sleep isn’t easy to come by these days. I think I’ve counted everything on the ceiling/walls so many times that I’m starting to categorize them.
Talk to your primary doctor and see about sleeping pill options. I had these pills that would put me out 30 minutes after taking them. I would wake up 8 hours later.
Counting down from 100 by three's worked well for me until I memorized the pattern. Doing the simple math task is what relaxes the mind. I could be asleep before 80. Sometimes I got to zero and had to start over (or a higher number).
Google "Progressive Muscle Relaxation Steps" and do it at the same time as counting.
We’ll have to look into that. Sleep is hard to come by. I got bored with counting things in the ceiling - now I’m onto mapping out the fasteners on an F-14 lol
Another night of the same. I went to a local military/airplane museum after work yesterday to inquire about becoming a volunteer. I’ve been fascinated with military airplanes since I was a kid and spent most of my adult life working with them so it’s natural for me.
We didn’t even talk last night as she came home late. Was already in bed and I didn’t bother to get up and ask how she was. Made dinner for the kids and we played basketball and board games after homework. A nice, relaxing night.
This morning I asked how her night was and she just rolled her eyes. I didn’t push and told her to have a great day at work.
Let me ask everyone a question: for those of you who’ve had spouse that cheated, how did you react? And how did your family react at the news of BD? I honestly don’t know how I’d react if it came to light that she was seeing someone…and I’m not sure I would tell my family about that part.
JR, believe it or not, the fewer people that know about your marital problems and her affair, the better. Everyone that finds out was is going on it's another person she'll have to face if you end up recovering l reconciling. In fact, sometimes the fact no one knows means that the cheating spouse will lean towards reconciling to save face. Obviously you want her to want to reconcile but why initial reason for her considering it helps. I know my wife dreaded for family (hers and mine), friends and church members to find out what she was doing. It was definitely yet another factor in her decision not to go through with separating and divorcing.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
This morning I asked how her night was and she just rolled her eyes.
Good learning lesson. Smells of pursuit to me. Right now, be polite and treat her like you would a server at a restaurant, nothing personal, but polite..
Have you read "no more Mr nice guy" or "Hold on to you NUTS?" Might want to add one or both to your reading list.
Right now is also about you gaining respect. No more simping or supplicating behavior.
How's the redecoration of the master bedroom coming along?
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
This morning I asked how her night was and she just rolled her eyes.
Good learning lesson. Smells of pursuit to me. Right now, be polite and treat her like you would a server at a restaurant, nothing personal, but polite..
Have you read "no more Mr nice guy" or "Hold on to you NUTS?" Might want to add one or both to your reading list.
Right now is also about you gaining respect. No more simping or supplicating behavior.
How's the redecoration of the master bedroom coming along?
Lesson learned lol.
As far as my room goes, I’ve done a few little things - put up a pic of one of my old birds from my ship and a few farewell gifts I received when changing commands. Great stuff that brings back good memories. I’m sure she’s noticed but she hasn’t said anything.
I’ve done a few little things - put up a pic of one of my old birds from my ship and a few farewell gifts I received when changing commands. Great stuff that brings back good memories. I’m sure she’s noticed but she hasn’t said anything.
Glad to hear.
My thought on the whole MB redo goes like this:
1) You are now EXCITED that you FINALLY get to make it the way you want. You can't wait to get it all setup. You are doing this for you. Of course she will notice...if done quick enough and right (or bold) enough, she will be surprised. You are in there playing music and painting the walls and hammering nails for new artwork. Amazon packages arrive daily with new bedding and towels for the master bathroom. Time to take care of you and your area.
Don't be boring.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I’ve done a few little things - put up a pic of one of my old birds from my ship and a few farewell gifts I received when changing commands. Great stuff that brings back good memories. I’m sure she’s noticed but she hasn’t said anything.
Glad to hear.
My thought on the whole MB redo goes like this:
1) You are now EXCITED that you FINALLY get to make it the way you want. You can't wait to get it all setup. You are doing this for you. Of course she will notice...if done quick enough and right (or bold) enough, she will be surprised. You are in there playing music and painting the walls and hammering nails for new artwork. Amazon packages arrive daily with new bedding and towels for the master bathroom. Time to take care of you and your area.
Don't be boring.
I like that. Never have been one to plan rooms out, paint, etc. I’m getting there. I may redo the master bath since it’s attached the the MBRb. At least get rid of the wall paper she put up
