Hi, I’m Jolly Rogers and I’m new here

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I'm sorry about the latest events. So, she's moving into the guest bedroom. This is not unusual at all for those who are in crisis. Try to remember, that this journey is not about you, but all about her and what she thinks she needs to do. I wouldn't say another word to her about the move. Just sit back and enjoy the primary bedroom without tension for a while. Listen, your wife is going to say and do things to get a reaction out of you. Why? She wants reasons for what she's doing and just as long as you remain calm and not react, she then has to question herself about what she's doing. Remember, the less you react, the better.

Now about telling the children....if she wants to do that, then she needs to be the one to explain to them why all of this is happening. Yes, you can be there too. But, she needs to do the heavy lifting in this. Do not make it easy for her. She needs to learn that life out there in the world is not a bed of roses and the sooner she experiences life and grows up from being sweet 16 again, the better.

Right now, she thinks freedom is going to be all rainbows and lollipops. When she discovers that she has left a nice home, a great husband and a life that was comfortable, she may eventually have second thoughts. If she moves out or she opts to start paying her own bills, she is running and with running, the routines will eventually catch up with her and yes, she will need to cook, clean, pay rent for an apt., etc. You will not be there to catch her.

Please, do not take what she says and does personally, it is all about her. Projection will become the norm for her as she can't look herself in the mirror and say it's her. It's definitely not you, but her. Also, she's going to start spending money on things and she may very well become the mirror opposite of the woman you knew pre-crisis.

Hang in there. Come here if you have any questions. The door is always open.