Just had a good heart to heart with D. Me opening up the check in and following her lead what she wanted to talk about. Me listening and asking more, supporting and responding when asked.
One of the things she said, she really likes living at home with me. She feels a bit like she needs to live here so we don’t sell the house. I replied that I love having her here and this is her home and we are her family but she is free to follow her path and what is best for her. She can decide to live wherever she wants and do whatever serves her needs and works for her best. I said that I don’t have plans to sell our house but I can’t predict the future. I explained that this is our home for now for our family and that home for our family is very important to me and I want to make sure that our family is well cared for as well as the next generation with what we pass on.
We had a caring connection and talked about several other things as well.
that's one of the most painful things about these situations - our children feel like they have to protect us, or do something to make it stop.
It's really important to keep doing what you're doing. Let her know repeatedly that she has no responsibility here and if she wants to do something, the best thing she can do is keep being honest with you both about her feelings.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Agreed to another family hangout with W. We got some tea and went for a walk on a nice warm afternoon with a couple of our kids had fun and some laughs altogether. She invited me to come over and stay the night with her when she and I were walking together. I declined. I had fun and told W and kids that I enjoyed it. I intended to have zero expectations of W and be open to fostering peace and family fun.
Agreed to another family hangout with W. We got some tea and went for a walk on a nice warm afternoon with a couple of our kids had fun and some laughs altogether. She invited me to come over and stay the night with her when she and I were walking together. I declined. I had fun and told W and kids that I enjoyed it. I intended to have zero expectations of W and be open to fostering peace and family fun.
How do you do it? I’m afraid I would have done the wrong thing and jumped at the chance.
