An affair is the futile attempt to fix themselves. To try to find happiness. Not realizing healing and happy come from within.
110%… you’re a wise man DNJ!!!
The affair is an attempt to fix.
The victim story is because they then want their train wreck to be someone else’s fault.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again … the BIGGEST problem with modern society is 90% of people refuse to own their behaviour. Everyone wants to blame, be a victim and get all their friends telling them what they’re doing is okay.
I am content and moving well along with life. Finding happiness in little things. Peace is near.
It seems that there could be infidelity after all. Time will truly tell.
I’m right there with you. How would you feel if you found out? Or do you even want to? Sometimes the inner peace isn’t worth knowing. I snooped and I’m 100% positive mine did, but I don’t have the proof.
I am content and moving well along with life. Finding happiness in little things. Peace is near.
It seems that there could be infidelity after all. Time will truly tell.
I’m right there with you. How would you feel if you found out? Or do you even want to? Sometimes the inner peace isn’t worth knowing. I snooped and I’m 100% positive mine did, but I don’t have the proof.
It would set me free. In every way possible.
This would truly remove the doubts that she set in my mind. Doubts about what I am as a person.
She is back from her vacation and suddenly wants to finalize divorce asap. We have been in completely silence for a while now. Potential OM occured but she is asking me to fully trust her.
You don’t have to push the divorce along (unless you want it), but you can’t really stop it either. Let her do the heavy lifting if she’s the one wanting it.
But don’t block or stand in her way. A LBS who tries to block/slow down/prevent divorce will usually help fuel an acrimonious disaster. You’re more likely to get more reasonable financial, custodial agreements if you don’t stand in her way.
Keep your head down and stick to DBing. Leave her steaming train wreck to her, and please trust us when we say it will be okay. Not today, nor tomorrow, not in a few months - but one day it will. I’d say the majority of the vets who have had their divorce finalised for 3+ years would probably describe it as a blessing. Mine certainly was, and I’m forever grateful she chose to have an affair because it was the start of a new, much better life for me and my children - it just that when you’re stuck in the middle of the grief an uncertainty, that can be hard to see.
Stay calm, stick with the DBing fundamentals, and let the cards fall where they may.
Thanks for the comment. I am not trying to stop her in anyway. If she does not want to be with me then I will not force her to be with me. I am focusing on my healing process and how I feel.
It's strange because she had this sudden urge to divorce me several weeks ago. Now she is completely silent again and not taking any actions. However, this is just only pushing the D further and further. Sometimes I am reconsidering whether I should be the one to initiate...
I assume that most of folks here have experienced silent treatment at one point or another.
Thanks for the comment. I am not trying to stop her in anyway. If she does not want to be with me then I will not force her to be with me. I am focusing on my healing process and how I feel.
It's strange because she had this sudden urge to divorce me several weeks ago. Now she is completely silent again and not taking any actions. However, this is just only pushing the D further and further. Sometimes I am reconsidering whether I should be the one to initiate...
I assume that most of folks here have experienced silent treatment at one point or another.
Why are you assuming that the silent treatment is aimed at you, maybe she is silent because she is depressed and had no energy to talk at all.
DETACH
#1 rule and let that all just roll off your back.
My guess is she is not even thinking about you, She is in so much pain all she can do is try to survive each day.
