I am sorry about your TA. I do believe kids should be told..I had a relative who committed suicide, and all of the kids of our extended family went to the memorial service. It wasn't whitewashed at all. Maybe it's a good lesson for the kids in what NOT to do in the future as well. And the kids need to grieve also. I don't know that death hits kids nearly as hard as adults, at least it never did for me...not younger kids anyway.
