It’s when they left for school that she changed. Almost like a light switch was flipped. She said we need to tell the kids.
I said on my way out “do you think that’s best?” Didn’t wait for a response. Just left for work. Not a single word from her since.
There are soo many ways to respond to her. We can all give our two cents so that the next time something similar happens, you have more choices on how to respond, hopefully in a "better" way. Better has many meanings as well.
Right off the top of my head:
"I agree" comes to mind. Then defer: "We can talk about the details later, I need to get to work".
Or:
"You look frustrated. (or however she looks emotionally).
Remember this: You will loose any logical debate, so do not debate. You have "better" discussions by deciding how you will be responding BEFORE the interactions happens. Then you can look back and go "YA, I did validate, good job me!"
Some phrases to add to your options:
"I am not sure" "I have not thought about that" "I need to process everything you have said" "I will let you know when I have decided" "Send me your proposal and I will look it over" "I believe it is best" "Yes" "No" "You sound frustrated" "I am late, I need to go" "We can continue this discussion later"
The less words you use, the more the impact.
So back to telling the children. We have had this discussion many times. Dig through my quote threads for examples.
Start working on how you want it to go down. Example:
1) You and her discuss how and when 2) She does most of the talking. 3) etc
Hi, Ready!!!! Thank you for responding! Sage advice - I can see I have much to learn!
