Boundaries and Moving Forward

[DonH]

Okay, so… like with all or at least most of the situations here all we have to go on is the written word that is reported here by half the people involved. We are not there to see body language. We are not able to see responses or interactions. So it’s anywhere from a gut reaction to an educated guess for us.

First and foremost I think you need to pay attention to what she does and not just what she says. I see a woman wanting to spend time with you and enjoying when she does. Yet she’s afraid to risk anything more. I honestly think that’s a lot of it. Of course this could be her reaction to you not being sure and not pursuing her.

I think I yelled at my ipad when I read “she wants to take things slow” OMG, take things slow? How much slower can you two go. You’ve been dancing around safe dating, what, near 10 times over 8 weeks? No kisses, no hand holding, no snuggling. How much slower can you go without being stopped?

So just pay attention to what she does. I think many in the above 40 age range are broken anyhow but I see signs of it with her. It looks like others do as well. If it were me I’d totally drop all expectation and not pursuit at all. If you just moved out of state that may take care of itself. Something is just odd about this whole sitch. Of course that’s the sum of both people involved. Her actions could be as much about reactions to you. But saying she wants to go any slower than the non-existent pace tells me she’s either not interested and afraid to tell you that or thinks she could be interested and is afraid to tell you that. Either way I don’t think she’s being fully honest about how she really feels. Of course this too means she’s not ready to date - which she has admitted to. I’d believe that from her.