Betsey, I am sorry for your loss. Your compassion and your willingness to face feelings are the reason so many of us appreciate you here on the bb.
Perhaps you do not want to rock the boat, but you may have an opportunity to really help your board and the administrators through a difficult time. Done properly the community has this time to both acknowledge the tragic passing of a wonderful person who was unable to deal with her pain AND open up a very important dialogue about depression, sadness and hopelessness.
Their refusal to face the circumstances of her death are the real tragedy. Sweeping things under the rug and collective denial really foster isolation and I would imagine a sense of shame.
Wouldn't it be great to have a time to really acknowledge this young person's contributions? Would you feel you might encourage the board to have a "memorial" and INCLUDE an interactive small group discussion of ways to reach out when you are in pain. It would be a great testament to this person's life if, through her misfortune, others might learn how to open up in discussion...learn how to ask for help...recognize when a friend or colleague is in pain.
It certainly is NOT your responsibility to have to take this on. But it may be an idea you might want to consider passing along to the powers that be. Their head in the sand approach is not only unrealistic- believe me, the word is OUT- I think it is dangerous and it sends a message of shame.
I send you this in love and support. May you be comforted in your loss and may all who are in pain and hopelessness find the love and support that might help them discover joy in living.
