All of the people on this board have been through the heart wrenching pain and uncertainty of an unexpected relationship failure. You feel like your entire life is imploding. It feels like a dream, and grief and emotions control you.
In terms of DBing, you are doing all the right things. DBing isn’t easy - and it’s not fast. You will have slip ups all the time. It will take months of practice, re-reading the book over and over, and consulting with the forum for you to get better at it. Don’t be harsh on yourself if you slip up.
As for the rest of your message:
Quote
He told me tonight that the very next time I don't respect his space and privacy, he will move out (I just found that letter two days ago.)
Quote
Additionally, he still sleeps in the bed with me every night and is very much interested in being intimate up to three times a day. Our sex life has never been better but he tells me he's just using me until he's ready to move on.
Quote
He was talking to me constantly about how all of this is apparently my fault, for weeks. He even blames me for the verbal abuse he carried on throughout our marriage.
Quote
But tonight he ran me a bath. He's said he's excited for the bedroom later.
Based on your quotes above (if they’re accurate), then I’ll say this:
Your husband is gaslighting, manipulating and abusing you. This is domestic violence.
I won’t tell you what I really think you should do about it because I’ll be accused of giving non-DBing advice at the DB forums. However, what I will say is this:
You (and you alone) should immediately commence counselling. And not with a family therapist or relationship counsellor or someone who did an online course and got some BS qualification. I mean counselling with a qualified psychologist. Your doctor may be able to setup some sessions, or lots of EAPs have access to services like that.
