Had a really good connection with D this morning. Listening, some tears, acknowledging, validating. Letting her know I’m here for her. Sitting with her pace and timing.
D said that she talked with her IC yesterday about an idea. She prefaced saying she doesn’t need to know everything but wonders if it might help her with navigating some of her confusion and painful experiences if W and I sit down with her and maybe older brother and express ourselves in ways that we would want to together about our relationship as W and I did in the fall with youngest S and create an opening for them to process and ask us questions.
I replied that I am open to that if D would like. And I also validated that this has been painful and confusing for D as she just told me and also for me. She said she will think about it. I went on that while D doesn’t need to know everything, she can ask or voice anything at all to me including negative emotions, questions, her hopes and dreams, and anything she needs. D told me she has some great connections like me, IC, and a solid, loving and mature young married couple for support. For these things I am so very thankful. She proposed that we pray together and we did. Then she filled our home with beautiful music (she’s a musician) while I made a delicious meal. She will be going out with her boyfriend for the day and I’m heading out with friends for some fun.
Also I’m just remembering something I forgot to mention about the family weekend away with W. Eldest S showed up for a day and had a blast in community. He kept a wide berth from W. When W was telling me about maybe she will move away if her kids don’t want to be with her, she said about S, “He should just get over it. It’s not about him.” Well truth be told everything affects everything in my mind. I recognize that he is not over it but he’s doing the best he can to deal with stuff. And I respect his process. I didn’t say much to W except to say that sounds really hard.
Let me tell you, playing hockey last night was just the best!
