Secondly, I suggest taking D18 for a long car ride or to get something to eat, just the two of you and have a very direct conversation. In that conversation, tell her that you respect her perhaps wanting to keep some feelings or info private, but make it abundantly clear to her that she does not need to protect you from anything, that you will always be there for her, and that she can always come to you for anything. Sadly yes, that needs to be stated clearly.
I plan to do this on our ride to the airport tomorrow. It’s about an hour away. D18 told W she wants to ride with me there. And I’ll make sure to remind myself to separate my issues with W from my kids relationship with her. It’s gotten blurred at times and I can’t let that happen.
Originally Posted by Mach1
I think the expectation of the day had you in a tailspin before you even started your day. Expectations being the killer of so many things in our life. I think that you were expecting things to go sideways, and maybe even worked toward that a bit.
I know this is true. I’ve been reading and talking to others about positive mindset and how that can manifest positive results. I went into Valentine’s Day expecting it to be hard for me. I failed to take a step back, anticipate possible results, think of the best approach I could make to those situations and keep a positive attitude regardless. Lesson learned for sure, but this is great advice for any other newbies here.
And Mach, I don’t feel like you are beating me down. I truly appreciate all of the advice given from people here. It has never felt like a beat down. I really wish I had read your post yesterday. I’ve been pretty steady with my emotions for a while now, and I think I got a little overconfident with my ability to handle them.
Originally Posted by Mach1
YOU COMMUNICATE ABOUT THE KIDS.....REGARDLESS
Agreed. My post was a little confusing when I mentioned W complaining about communication regarding the kids. Basically, W never mentioned the kids when texting/calling me on Valentine’s Day after I left. She only mentioned it the next morning when telling me I couldn’t take D5 to the park if I’m refusing to communicate about the kids. The kids are one of the only things I text her about and I will absolutely continue to ensure I do that.
