Hi everyone, I've had a good day today. Went for a walk last night (knee suffering today) and met an old friend who is a retired couple Psychotherapist. She was wonderful to talk to and spoke a lot about the principles mentioned on here. She said about considering my behaviours as to whether they are enabling or not & made a lot of sense around my feelings. I came home feeling strong & asked H if he has found a flat yet. He said there is nothing and the estate agent said there were some properties coming on in March. I think this may be a stalling tactic and BS. He said all the right things, was pulling at my heart strings again. Said how sorry he was, that he had felt unloved and regrets it, knows now that he was loved. I felt myself softening and then he pulled out a corker of a lie and said he would be going out Saturday night but would not stay over and would be home between 10 & 11. I reiterated that he should leave as soon as he can as this was the right thing to do for both of us to have some time and space to focus on our own needs. I still think he is trying to have his cake and eat it. I feel sure that even if he came to me and said I've stopped seeing her that I wouldn't believe him and he needs time to do the reflection that I've done. This is slowly beginning to make sense to me. My friend said today that she is certain I will be alright no matter what but thinks he probably won't be. She also reminded me that he is not my problem and to stop being a mum to him! I'm sure I've not got all this right so any pearls of wisdom, particularly about how I get him out of the house are welcomed!
