Living With WAW 4

[DnJ]

Hello DW

Sorry man. Yesterday was certainly and understandably a rough one for you. I did find the first time through the special days was the most difficult.

I too had a family friend, an aunt to the children, who sided with XW. Another betrayal and/or feelings thereof to work through and accept.

I don’t want to make an emotional decision

Good.

(…feelings are fleeting…)

Yes they are.

I came to this site, as did most, with the intention of saving my marriage. In the process I have rediscovered happiness within myself, reconnected with friends and family, improved several physical and mental aspects of myself, became a much better father and employee.

Excellent.

I currently feel like I don’t want anything to do with the woman who used to be my sidekick through life. I know that feelings change.

Perfectly normal to feel such. And rather temporary for the woman you promised your life to, and the mother of your children - unless such feelings are reinforced.

My current struggle is do I wait to see if my feelings change, even though they are pushing further apart by the day, or do I just pull the plug?

You know your feeling will change. You even said so. It’s not “if”, it’s just “when”.

Do not pull the plug based on feelings.

When do I know it’s the right time to stop fighting for my marriage?

When? Know? Fighting?

Fighting begets fighting. Live well. Be that happy man connected with friends and family. Be the better person, father, and employee. The focus on you stuff. The stuff you can control.

Knowing. The cold emotionlessness of logic and reason. If you needed financial protection or security, that would be a known reason to file for divorce; which is still not stopping efforts towards busting/reconciliation.

When. Dig deep. What are your beliefs and values and convictions? Standing really starts when one becomes strong and healed enough to stand down; until then it’s one’s default position. Stand for your beliefs.

I think I’m going to read DR again the next few days.

Nice. I usually find or renew things on subsequent readings.

I’m going to make a decision or renew one.

Look to your deep convictions and motivations. The core of who you are. Life’s peace and contentment comes from living such headings.

D