D18 and S19 definitely have no confusion about the bad actor. I hope the knowledge they gain through this outweighs any negative side effects. I just hope I’m modeling the correct behavior. I’ve been honest with them through the whole process. I’ve talked to them about being independent, expecting mutual respect in a relationship and not letting someone walk on them. I’ve talked about the reasons for my actions, or lack thereof, and have also expressed the reasons why I’ve been fighting to save this. Neither of them are reliant on W for anything, other than the emotional support you expect of a parent, which they currently are not even receiving from her. They understand they can navigate their relationship with W in any way they choose.
You almost have two completely different paths in terms of the kids.
S19 & D18 are going to be done with high school and potentially moved out to college before any potential D happens. There is no custody and perhaps no child support (depending on the state) considerations for them. They can choose where they want to live. If they come back to college, they might default back to the house they know...etc.
Whereas if the D happens D5 is going to go through life back and forth between your place and as she gets older won't remember nearly as much about the process leading up to the D as S19 and D18 will.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
