1. Live the next 2, 5 or 10 years in limbo hoping she might wake up, fretting about the right words to use every day, trying to keep her happy, hanging onto tidbits of hope and wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone WHO DOESN’T VALUE YOU.
Every conversation, every little thing is being scrutinized. You can't keep this up for long. Why? It's exhausting. And...your wife can tell. She can see that you are dancing around her. Any change of behavior is, admit it or not, a way to change the outcome of this whole mess you're in. It makes her trust you less. To be honest, GAL, and being detached is very hard. How do you work hard at looking like you are not working hard? It's exhausting, bro. Very few people can be that Zen. Give yourself a break.
The longer this drags on, the weaker your position becomes. You will compromise, make yourself smaller, meet her needs and then she'll walk all over you. Don't wait for her to act. Time to take control back.
Set boundaries, set ultimatums. This is hard, but, it helps avoid all the back and forth. Does she want to be married to you or not? Thus far she said she wants a separation or a divorce. Act on that. If you want something else, state it. You can say, "If you want to work on this marriage, fine, if you don't, I have some decisions to make in the next few weeks." Strength and clarity are attractive.
Originally Posted by Kind18
You’re a good guy. Don’t you deserve someone who loves and respects you? You need some self respect mate.
No truer words have ever been spoken on this board. I am sorry Rock.
