Brave Little Gerda Passes Through the Door

[Elbereth]

Hey Gerda,

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with all of this. It just never seems to end...but it will. It will end. The feelings you are having are only natural. You have been through so much. And having had things go the way they have, it's no wonder you are nervous. But there is also a very good chance that this time it will go better than the last two judges. Keep that in your mind to help you stay calm. You don't have anything to hide. Above all, stay rational and calm. Eventually, the alligator will show its teeth to the judge. Trust me.

During my divorce mediation, my XH provided the mediator with a last-minute document that did not put me in the best light. Honestly, it wasn't the truth but at that point, I was unable to respond. It didn't matter that it was false, it was that he was doing his best to make me look bad to try to gain an edge. I worried at first that the mediator believed what was written because he seemed pretty hard on me. But I remained calm and steady and unemotional. All our requests were rational and realistic and well, we acted professionally. After a while, he seemed to relax and seemed to be doing a fair job, and not like he was running me over or anything. However, after the finalization of the settlement, the mediator let me and my lawyer know that he saw my XH teeth and he wasn't impressed. So, even if it doesn't always look like people are seeing the bad behavior, they do. It's just their job to not let either of you know that they see it. So, even if you fear the worst, try to have faith that what you have provided in the documentation and your behavior shows that you have nothing to hide and that you are not the one playing games. And hope that your deal is a fair one. Unfortunately, you XH will never get what he deserves. Except with the help of Karma.

Sending you love and hugs and strength. You are amazing. You are strong. You are a wonderful mom. You don't deserve any of this, but you will get through it. It will come to an end and he will no longer have power over you. I promise.

Hugs,
El